Meditations on Holy Week - Holy Tuesday

From Brother Giles

Again, we see Jesus's Humanity coming to the fore: "Reclining at table, Jesus was deeply troubled..." Today we would say "He was freaking out." Shaken to the core.

It was because someone He trusted was about to betray Him. Did He feel the presence of Satan entering the room, ready to empower Judas? We don't know, the Gospel today doesn't say.

What we do know is that Jesus "handed him a morsel." This was a deeply intimate act, one that we have lost in the mists of time. To dip into the pot and offer the morsel to someone was to offer the deepest of friendship. Today, boys might prick their fingers to make a blood pact. It was that profound.

Jesus was saying to Judas, "I am your most intimate friend. You don't have to do this." What was Judas' response? He took the morsel, and then "Satan entered him."

What you are going to do, do quickly," Jesus said. Was He speaking to Judas, or Satan? Again, the Gospel doesn't tell us. We do know the result: "So Judas took the morsel and left at once. And it was night."

The hour of darkness was upon them all.

And that was when Jesus said: "Now is the Son of Man to be glorified." The time when He confronted the powers of darkness on our behalf.

We said that Jesus was probably making His last goodbyes. He had badly wanted to share the Passover meal and institute the Eucharist with His disciples. Short of dying on the Cross, it was His greatest gift to us. So what did the disciples say?

"Master, I will lay down my life for you."

How much that must have hurt Jesus, knowing that Peter would soon deny Him! "Amen, amen I say to you, l the cock will not crow before you deny Me three times." John 13:38

At this point, Jesus must have needed to take a deep breath and remind Himself why He had come in the first place. We "understand" the weakness of His disciples because we are weak ourselves.

But it still had to hurt Him.

His own deepest friends, abandoning Him.

Did you know that St. John, the beloved disciple, was the only one of the twelve apostles who didn't die a martyr's death? Why is that?

Peter (along with the others) had shown that he wasn't ready to be at the foot of the Cross. That's why he denied Jesus. That's why the others ran. But John was there, with His Mother and the other women. John (along with the others) was present at the Crucifixion. This was literally true, but it also showed that they were ready for the Cross to be in their lives. For the rest of their lives. John didn't need to shed his blood at the end of his life (although some say he was put into boiling oil, which did not harm him), because his soul was shedding its blood every day.

Additional commentary from Veronica, Sister in Christ Jesus

"How much that must have hurt Jesus, knowing that Peter would soon deny Him!" 

I think it was a double hurt. It hurt Him knowing the upcoming abandonment, but I think it also hurt Him knowing how much Peter will hurt when he will realise what he had done (when he betrays him). If you are a good person, betraying someone is a heavy Cross to carry. And Peter had three days in which he thought he would never have the chance to ask for Jesus' forgiveness. That is a difficult wound to carry —the harm we do to others. And I think Jesus was also hurt by knowing Peter's forthcoming hurt.

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